Dave the dog 

He bound in to the living room, tail wagging, and in his mouth his lead

As I got up out of the chair, he spun excitedly in circles at speed

Through the window I could see, it was already a beautiful day

A walk would be fun with Dave at the park, and would be ideal to blow the cobwebs away

When we arrived we met a lady named Holly

With Clarissa, the Afghan border collie

Who was so excited to see, dreadlocked Dave and me

That she piddled as she was so jolly

They ran and played across the grass

While I chatted up this beautiful lass

With numbers exchanged

And a date arranged

Dave and I meandered off, bold as brass

Now Dave can not abide cats

Almost as much as his hatred for rats

So when he saw the poor puss

He went berserk, what a fuss

And off they went nose to tail towards the flats

Off I went in pursuit of the two

When I stumbled and off came my shoe

I heard the loud blasts of horns

Fell in a huge bush of thorns

Then screamed and turned the air blue

Well the cats only and last line of defence

Was to leap on a six foot tall fence

Dave snarled and he barked

A chorus from other dogs he had sparked

Things hotted up quickly and got real intense

I managed to get Dave back on his lead

And towards home the direction we did proceed

With the walk he calmed down

As we strolled through the town

When we got back I promised him a good feed

Back in the safety of our four walls

Dave lies down, legs akimbo, he sprawls

So I popped on the kettle

And my favourite heavy metal

While Dave sat there licking his balls

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